Thoughts on Lent 2015...so far

A few days late as Lent started on Wednesday but oh well:

Oh yes, it's that time of year to think about sacrifices and what Christ did for us on the cross.  It's also the time of the year that many people dread as they decide what they want to "give up" for the 40 days. 

As expected (because he does this every Lenten season), last Sunday, my pastor encouraged us to not think of what we can "give up" but what we can do to lead us into a deeper spiritual journey during this Lenten season.  It's not a time for us to change a habit, lose weight, or anything like that.  It's a time for us to reflect and grow spiritually as we prepare for (in my opinion) the most important moments of the Christian faith. 

Honestly, I'd already decided that I'm not giving anything up anyway because of baby #2.  I can't eat raw sushi, drink my Angry Orchard, or even get an easy Jimmy Johns sandwich while at work.  I was pretty much being a whiny brat about it. 

After really thinking and praying about it, I still don't know what I am doing for the Lenten season.  I have started reading through a devotional book with Little S every morning when we wake up to start our day out with a little encouragement from God. 

And to be honest again, ever since we started this, parenting has been kind of sucky.  Ugh!!!  I know, it's small moments that are making me say this and for the most part, we have a fine time, but it hasn't been easy to be a mommy for the past 5 days.

In a way, I wonder if this is my Lenten "fast."  My pastor encouraged us to seek out something that really challenges us to get out of our base comfort zone and to truly rely on him as we battle what we fear.  For me, as I am often in my head, I tend to battle anxiety over the future and desire security and comfort.  From Little S running out into the grocery store parking lot and then headbutting my nose while I was trying to talk to him to being peed on by the stubborn little boy; from cleaning spilled coffee off my couch and chair cushions to vacuuming up rice and glass from a glass jar broken on our fireplace; and now to a sick little kid that's causing me to miss church and community with my church family, I feel like my desire for control of situations and preparing for the future are being tested.  I am relying on God as I pray for patience and love in all situations.  I want my boy to know how much he is loved, even when I am frustrated, tired, and short tempered. 

I know it's not necessarily a daily practice, but it sure seems like right now.  Oh well.  I know that God is good and loves and hears me.  I know that parenting is an adventure that never ends.  I pray that during this Lenten season and for always, I will remember who provides for me and that I will continue to rely on Him more and more instead of relying on my plans for the future (because we all know my plans are never the right course in my life, especially when I say, "I will never..." i.e. William Jewell College, nursing, marrying a youth pastor, etc). 

On the subject of Baseball

It's World Series time, if you didn't know.  If you missed it, the Kansas City Royals are playing in the World Series, here in KANSAS CITY, MO, today.  It's an exciting time for my city and my Kansas City friends.

I have a confession to make:  I am a St. Louis Cardinals fan.  But I am excited for the Royals and will be rooting for them during this World Series.

Does this mean I'm jumping on the bandwagon with the rest of the United States (minus San Francisco) and rooting for the Royals?  I don't know.  I guess.  If that's what you call it.  Does that mean I'm being a traitor to my team?  No.

I read a blog post that several of my Kansas City friends posted on Facebook about how there is no room for Cardinals fans on the Kansas City bandwagon.  You can read it here.

Sometimes (most of the time) I wish I was a writer so that I could use my words eloquently and tastefully to convey my true thoughts and feelings.  Instead, I was blessed with simple thoughts and a simple vocabulary to try and write with, that usually either offends or confuses everyone.

But here goes:

I'm sorry, Matty Flex, for all of the Cardinals fans you have encountered in your life.  They sound awful.  I would hate them too.  Hopefully, you will encounter the good, nice, baseball loving, Cardinals fans soon.

It's true, we are used to the postseason and winning.  But, I, for one, am not a Cards fan because they win.  I grew up in St. Louis watching the Cardinals while doing homework.  I loved when my dad would take my family to games with his company tickets.  My celebrity crushes were Cardinals players, not actors or musicians (well, minus NSYNC).  I was the statistician for the baseball team in high school (I know, dorky, right?) because I just LOVE baseball.

I'm sure the diehard baseball fans would say that I am not a true Cardinals fan and they're probably right.  I barely know the players names and positions.  I don't track stats.  I barely know the Cardinals record throughout a season.  I get bored during the regular season because there are so many games.  I don't watch the games on TV because 1) I can't (living in KC, ya know), 2) I don't want to pay to watch them on MLB network, and 3) I don't have the time.

But I'm proud of where I'm from and the team that I grew up supporting.  I love being able to watch the Cardinals in the postseason because I can actually watch them on TV.  And postseason ball is so much more exciting.  Like my friend said, "every game matters."  The regular season is looooooooooooooong.  Trends matter, not each individual game.

For my Royals friends, I'm sorry if I was ever that awful Cardinals fan to you.  You all make me want to be a better Cardinals fan.  Seriously.  It's been so fun to see everyone get excited during this postseason.  I love going to watch parties with all of my Royals loving friends.  It's so much better to be excited with friends because it's usually just me - Big S usually doesn't care as much as he puts on and Little S doesn't understand.  It makes me want to be a better fan for my team.  I want to be my team's fan, loud and proud.  Even when we lose.  Even when it's in the middle of the god-awful, long, baseball season.  Thank you KC friends for showing me what being a true fan looks like.  Maybe one day I will own a Royals t-shirt and wear it with pride (unless they're playing my Cards), not because I converted to being a Royals fan, but because I love my city and the team and community of fans that comes with it.

I have been painting my nails while writing this and they are a pretty blue.  I will be working tonight while wearing royal blue scrubs and will be sneaking glances at the game on every TV that I can find.  And I will be cheering for the Kansas City Royals.  I am not a traitor to my beloved St. Louis Cardinals.  I'm not jumping on the Royals bandwagon in the "I want to cheer for a winning team" sort of way or in a "Beat those dang Giants" sort of way (well, maybe a little).  I am a baseball fan who lives in Kansas City.  While I am not able to understand the enormity of what is going on here like my diehard Royals fans, I am still excited.  It's hard to live in Kansas City and not be excited.  Go Royals! #beroyal #takethecrown #cardinalsfanswhoaremeanruinitfortherestofus