Thursday, July 18, 2013

Fear of traveling

I am so excited!  My best friend is moving to Philadelphia and I get to go help her find a place to live.  Yay for my bestie and yay for a new city!!

I love traveling.  Surprising for an introvert, at least to me.  I may not talk to many new people without a safety net (usually Big S) but I love seeing new places and I love airports (for the most part) and I love flying.

Well, maybe not love flying.  I did.  But now I'm kind of afraid.  Ever since Little S came along, traveling makes me nervous.  I'm afraid something will happen.  I'm afraid I'll never see him and Big S again.  I think I'm most afraid that he will forget me if something happens.

WHAT?!?!  I know.  Weird?  Morbid?  I'm selfish.  I know.  I want to be remembered.  I want to leave a legacy.  I don't want to be forgotten.  I'm pretty sure most people feel this way.

But it's so true for me as a momma.  I know that Little S is still at an age where he won't have memories from this time.  If something happens on my way to or from or in the middle, he will only remember me because of pictures and stories.  He won't remember that I sing him Jesus Loves Me every time I put him to bed.  He won't remember dancing with me.  He won't remember my hugs and kisses.  And that's why I'm scared of traveling without my family.  I'm afraid I won't be remembered.

I wish I could admit that I'm afraid of traveling for other reasons.  But I know that my family will be okay.  As I've said before, I am thankful for our community and know they would rally around my boys.  I know that Big S is a wonderful father who would be able to raise our son with no problems.

I'm just scared of being forgotten.

Please pray for comfort for me.  Please pray for safety for all of us as we are apart.  Please forgive me for being so selfish.  Thank you friends.

A picture of two littles with not a care in the world

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Things I've Learned Today

It's amazing how I can have so much to say one day that I don't say everything on my mind and then the next five days I have nothing.

This is one of those days that there is so much on my mind that I have to pick and choose.  So to keep it simple, here is a list of some things I've learned today.

1) I will never envy the person who has to sit and shell edamame for the frozen edamame bags.  I'm sure there is a machine, but I have pity for the person who has to do it if there is one.

Yup that whole small bowl of beans is what that package produces. Much easier to shell with your mouth while eating than with a knife.

2) To get Little S to eat his veggies and chicken, just make fried rice!  He's so asian.  I mean seriously.  Won't touch the stuff until it's mixed with rice and soy sauce (yeah, it's delicious to anyone, for sure).  But yeah, total asian.

3) Big S is so excited for the XboxOne to come out at the end of this year.  It's going to be voice controlled, even more than what our Xbox360 is now with the Kinect.  What's crazy to me is that Little S will grow up talking to his TV.  I mean, he already is.  He has started to say, "Xbox," when he wants to watch another episode of whatever TV show he was watching when we say it's time to do something else.  Yikes!

4) I am SO impatient when it comes to computers!  I'm trying to do 3 things at once, uploading pictures in all three areas.  I need to slow it down.  (I already knew this one, just using it as more of a reminder to myself.)

5) Little boys are so silly.  Yeah, I didn't just learn this today, but I just wanted to put up some pictures of my silly boy.

This little boy LOVES nutella and always makes a mess

Showing off his life jacket from his Grammy.  The fake smiles have already started
Already giving me the, "just stop with the pictures" face

Monday, July 8, 2013

Blogging and working

Maybe it should be more, "Working and not blogging."  Because that's what happens.  When I work, I don't have time to blog because I'm either at work or sleeping.  Dang. Oh well.

How was your 4th of July?  Mine was full of community and fireworks.  Big S had to work so Little S and I celebrated with some friends from church who have a big party every year for Independence Day.  It was smaller this year, but still full of friends and Little S having fun in a baby pool with his friend.  After eating, we ventured with the Godparents to a celebration put on by the parents of friends from college.  Oh my wow.  Between the fireworks choreographed to an Eye of the Tiger music video and the main display of fireworks being quite close to us, I'm not sure we'll be returning.  Knowing us, probably, but I don't think I got "Mom of the Year" nominations with that decision.

While I am posting pictures, I wanted to show of my recent nail art.  I've never dyed my hair and my wardrobe is pretty much gray, white, black, and navy, so the way I jazz myself up is by my nails or earrings.  Sadly, nail polish is pretty much one of the only things that causes dissension in our house.  Big S HATES the smell of nail polish and complains after I do my nails, asking me EVERY TIME to paint them outside.  I think the temperature affects the polish making it harder to apply smoothly.  

Anyway, here are my 4th of July nails that I'm quite proud of, and what I did tonight.

The sparkles are actually silver and red.  Yay!

The tips are actually painted white, but it's hard to tell because it's a pearly white.  I'm not digging the sparkles as much as I thought I would, but it jazzes the nails up a little.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Visiting LaCygne

I want to start off by saying, how do these Mommy Bloggers have time to blog?  I mean seriously?!  Wait, I just realized that I'm trying to blog two days IN A ROW!  Well, the only reason is because today was exciting and tomorrow will be too so I don't want one big post one day.  Maybe not having a purpose to this blog is complicating my life because I feel like I have to give you every detail.  If I had a theme, like baking, I could just focus on that.  Whatevs...

Anyway, Little S and I took a trip to a wonderful place called LaCygne, that happens to be located in LaCygne, Kansas.  This place was where Big S worked for 4 years before pursuing the EMT/Firefighter route.  It's a wonderful place that used to be mainly a summer camp for high schoolers, but is now something more spiritual and community based.  If you want more information, visit here.

It was so refreshing to return to camp.  Little S's (correct?) godparents were camping out at LaCygne this week so that was what sparked the interest to go back.  I loved seeing so many familiar faces and receiving so many hugs from those wonderful people.  Last summer, Little S was just starting to crawl so it was so weird to see him running around the grounds this year.

He enjoyed running around the grounds until he faceplanted on the sidewalk, making a sound like his head was cracking.  From there it was a downhill spiral.  Every fall meant more tears and more tears also signaled more exhaustion since he didn't really nap this afternoon.

When he wasn't falling, however, he loved watching the blobbers blob and "played" disc golf with his godparents.

Which brings me to the main topic. 

I don't know how single parents do it.  Much respect to you, single parents, because I fail miserably every day that I'm with Little S alone (which is three days/nights) of the week.  I'm so overwhelmed and tired because he is everywhere, wanting to be independent and not understanding rules, but wanting me near.

I am so thankful for Little S's godparents.  They are true examples to me of what community means and does.  They helped so much with him today from changing his diaper and getting him up from his nap when I was at the pool to carrying him and even disciplining him.  We are so grateful and so blessed to have these two people in our lives.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Welcome to My World

Starting up a new blog is always hard, but I'm excited for this new start.  I am not the most eloquent, wise, or even the most dedicated blogger, but I like it and feel like it's a good way to get my thoughts out to share to the two people that read my posts.

I have no idea the direction this will blog will go, but expect lots of pictures of my two men and two dogs and probably not a lot of pictures of me because that's how I roll.  I am a Pinterest-er, so also expect much reference to what I see on Pinterest and the funny things I pin.  

Why Heart and Seoul?  Well, I feel like that name of the blog encompasses many important aspects of my life.

I am forgiven by a wonderful God who knows my faults and still claims me as his own.  I am not perfect, as you will often see, but know that everything that has happened in my life is not because of coincidence, but because of a divine plan.  I am blessed beyond measure.

I am a wife to wonderful man of God who is passionate about helping others, either as a youth pastor or currently as an EMS worker trying to become a fireman.  I am so proud of him and am so blessed to be his wife.  I have sweet little boy who smiles and laughs all of the time and brings such joy to my heart.

  Me and Big S

My little man, Little S

I am a Pediatric nurse and work with kiddos needing or have had heart surgeries.  I am fascinated by the heart, in the way it works and develops.  I view what I do, not as work, but as my ministry for which God has created me.  I am so blessed to be able to do what I do.  This picture sums up my thoughts of working with the sick kiddos.

I was born in Seoul, South Korea, and adopted at a young age.  While I am your typical, suburban, "white girl," I'm proud of being unique here in America and hope to learn more about my heritage.  

Heart and Soul is one of those songs that kids learn to play on the piano at a young age.  While I am not as musical as I used to be, I hope to reclaim that passion and love of mine and pass it on to my little.

I guess that's enough for one blog.  Welcome to my world!